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Warning signs your friend is a touring addict

Warning signs your friend is a touring addict

Posted by Simon Tjernström

Photos by David Kantermo

2019-03-28 09:52

All trends and activities comes with a dark backside. Touring is no different. The backside so many skiers strive to get to, turned out to be a spiraling tunnel into heavy addiction. It all started as an innocent way to access more skiing but it quickly got out of hand for many.

Before we knew it, our friends turned down fine powder runs to quest for what they claimed would be better runs. Before their first skins glue got worn down they where hardly skiing at all.

IMG_5239yoyo.jpgMost of these skiers could have been saved if we had known the warning signs we know now.

If you recognize your friends behavior among one or more of the claims below chances are slim you can save them. If your friends shows signs of three or more statements below, the only rescue is a month spring rehab with Carl Regnér in Åre.


ARE YOUR FRIEND EATING MORE NUTS?

What might seem like an innocent and healthy habit is in fact a sign that your friend have started touring more. When this happens the body screams for the fats found in nuts. If your friend claims “it’s a great way to get fast energy and easy to bring along” he/she is beyond rescue.
What might seem like an innocent and healthy habit is in fact a sign that your friend have started touring more.

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IS YOUR FRIENDS POLES GETTING LONGER?

Be aware folks. The poles keep getting longer gradually so this might be hard to notice. The experts have united in the standards that per 1 cm pole growth, the person runs a 5% increased risk of becoming a touring addict. Discussions whether or not it’s ok to measure your friends poles in secret have surfaced throughout and the answer is as easy as obvious. Anything that can be done to save your fellow skier is ok.
The experts have united in the standards that per 1 cm pole growth, the person runs a 5% increased risk of becoming a touring addict.

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IS YOUR FRIEND MAKING THEIR OWN POWER BARS?

Is it smelling of roasted nuts and chocolate at your friends house? Are all baking plates nowhere to be found? Does your friend carry around weird brown bars wrapped in plastics? I’m sorry to say this but if this is your reality, the damage is far beyond repairing stage.
Is it smelling of roasted nuts and chocolate at your friends house?
Homemade-Protein-Bars-single (kopia).jpg

DOES YOUR FRIEND OBSESS WITH WEIGHT LOSS?

Weight is an Achilles heal to the touring addicted. Weight is much like Kryptonite to Superman for these junkies. Can your friend refer to five individual boots and know their weight? Is your friend saying terms such as “sub 1500 boot” or “PDG” than you have a clear indication your friend is turning to the dark side.
Is your friend saying terms such as “sub 1500 boot” or “PDG?”
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IS YOUR FRIENDS BACKPACK GETTING BIGGER?

This is a paradoxical warning sign most people fail to notice. Since the rest of the equipment keeps getting smaller for the tour-heads many friends and families are glad to see the backpack sizes grow. But NO. Bigger backpacks are a warning sign as good as any of your friend might be spiraling down heavy addiction.
Since the rest of the equipment keeps getting smaller for the tour-heads many friends and families are glad to see the backpack sizes grow. But NO.
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DOES YOUR FRIEND SUDDENLY WANT TO GET UP AT 5 AM?

Nobody knows why but to join the destructive community of touring addicts, one must like getting up super early. Among the touring junkies their is an internal contest each day who can be up on a peak the earliest. Much like making big money deals for the yuppies or having the loudest exhaust for the gear heads, this is their arena of battle - Who can get up the earliest. Is your friends alarm set to 5 AM? Then you know their ambition is to give up their life as you know it and join other addicts in leaving society.
Much like making big money deals for the yuppies or having the loudest exhaust for the gear heads, this is their arena of battle.
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